So Your Demon Wants a Soul

My Dearest Adam,

As advertised, the banishing spell was intended to leave you “spirit free.” So why then, are you questioning the results of the ceremony? Had I not helped you in banishing your dead yoga partner? Tell me, if it were not for that demon showing up to collect your soul and in the process scaring the bejesus right out of your dead friend how else would you have gotten him to leave? What? You think I lied to you? Alright, maybe I left out some of the mundane details like the banishing spell actually being a conjuring spell, but the results are the same. I promised you that you would be rid of spirit which is exactly what happened. You’re welcome.

Now then, if you would cease being a whiny little bitch perhaps you could see that this is all just a part of the plan. After all, demons are rather reasonable fellows. All that needeth be done is to offer a trade. So your demon wants a soul. How about offering someone else’s up instead? An annoying younger brother, perhaps? Does mommy dearest refuse to let you sacrifice her favorite son? Ever considered dabbling in a little animal sacrificing? Vegan? Got a mother-in-law handy? Damn, that’s right, the whole virgin thing. Never mind, scratch that. Well, friend, if none of these options appeal to you then there’s only one thing left to do … give the devil his due. Yes, I am aware that I told you before that you’d be an idiot to sell your soul away. Yes, I know that I had expressed my abhorrence of the idea in some form of profanity, but it has become clear to me that I may have been rash in condemning the idea. Don’t fret my sad, hapless friend, not all is lost. Perhaps, you can strike a deal. Your inconsequential soul for a lifetime of pleasure. Who knows, you might thank me later. ]:)


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